Lists

For Christmas, one of the 10 squillion things that simp bought me was the McSweeney's book of lists (which I would link to, but I can't find it on Amazon). I recently rediscovered it, nearly wet myself at the list of things this city was built on, other than rock and roll, and now I've decided to create my own lists using just keyboard and brain. I may get bored of this, or it may become a recurring motif, only time will tell.

Things I dislike about Honduras:

• Men hissing at me on the street.
  
• My credit card being falsified and used to the tune of Euro3,000 while it never once leaves a drawer in my bedroom, hence provoking me not to notice its use for a full three weeks.
  
• Sweating profusely, even while I'm in a swimming pool.
  
• Cars slowing down and the driver leaning out the window to get a better look at the foreign girls on the street.
  
• Being called gringuita.
  
• My friend´s boyfriend theorising that my credit card is being used by a crime gang as the petty cash fund to finance a kidnapping.
  
• Newspapers displaying corpses with their clothes pulled up to make it easier to see the wounds.
  
• People speaking to me in English with thick American accents because they think it will make me like them, because they assume that I, like them, am rich and spent much if not all of my youth in the US, and I, like them, disdain idiots who don't speak English, even though I'm a FRICKING DEVELOPMENT WORKER for chrissakes, I'm not going to be impressed because you know all the best clubs in Manhattan, or more likely Miami, so just BACK THE FUCK OFF.
  
• People speaking to me in English because I speak lousy Spanish.
  
• Police cars slowing, the driver leaning out the window to get a good look at the foreigners, and then cranking up his loudspeaker to announce "Hola amor I love you".
  
• People who say they don't like Honduras because of the machismo, the crime, and the inequality. And the dirt. Especially Finnish people who say that.
  

I feel that I should make a point of listing the things I like about Honduras. And I will. Soon. (Hint: it's not just its proximity to Guatemala, though that's in there too).